Sexual Sanity

redupnyc: “All press is good press” IS NOT A THING WHEN YOU ARE...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:56:34 -0700

“All press is good press” IS NOT A THING WHEN YOU ARE A SEX WORKER.

Deciding whether or not to be interviewed for a story can be difficult. Compounding this difficulty is the fact that reporters must move quickly and you may miss a vital opportunity by being too cautious. Often the initial contact is hours if not minutes away from the reporter’s deadline.

But, just like many workers in the sex industry screen clients, we should screen reporters to decide whether or not we want to talk with them.

RedUP’s media guide has five pages devoted to doing intake of reporter inquiries, negotiating an interview, and reducing your stress when you’re dealing with the media.

Download RedUP’s free, 35-page Speak Up! Guide to Strategic Media Tools and Tactics to Amplify the Voices of People in the Sex Trades.

And if you want to spend a whole weekend learning and practicing media tactics in a peer-led media workshop for people in the sex trades, apply for Red Umbrella Project’s Media Training Intensive, taking place in NYC May 17-19. Deadline is April 16.

Thanks, this looks useful.

"For a constructed vagina to be considered acceptable by surgeons specialized in intersexuality, it..."

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:55:02 -0700

“For a constructed vagina to be considered acceptable by surgeons specialized in intersexuality, it basically just has to be a hole big enough to fit a typical-sized penis. It is not required to be self-lubricating or even to be at all sensitive, and certainly does not need to change shape the way vaginas often do when women are sexually stimulated. So, for example, in a panel of discussion of surgeons who treat intersexuality, when one was asked, ‘How do you define successful intercourse? How many of these girls actually have an orgasm, for example?’ a member of the panel responded, ‘Adequate intercourse was defined as successful vaginal penetration,’ All that is required is a receptive hole.”

- Alice Domurat Dreger (2004) “Ambiguous Sex”—or Ambivalent Medicine? (137-153) In Health, Disease and Illness. (via pipipiripiripi)

Further proof that society only cares about men’s pleasure, and only thinks of women as holes.

(even though not all women have vaginas/not everyone with a vagina is a woman)

This is why if I *ever* birth a child, I’m doing it with a midwife who is made to understand beforehand that if my child is intersex, they are to be left *intact*. Intersex people do not exist to be “fixed”.

(via zyymurgy)

And guess what was the idea of ‘good’ male genitals for intersex people expressed by these same doctors? A functioning and big enough penis. Because a man would be nothing with a small dick, right?

Ugh. This is why oppressed groups that have to deal with doctors (intersex people, transgender people, autistic people, disabled people, etc) are extra vulnerable: because the medical world is really fucked up. You will meet more old oppressive, sexist, ableist stereotypes in modern medical education than in most republican speeches. It’s really really sickening.

(via anotherlgbttumblr)

The CSPH: Sexology Reading Group

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:50:45 -0700

The CSPH: Sexology Reading Group:

thecsph:

Are you interested in learning more about human sexuality, sex therapy, and how to improve your clinical practice, but aren’t sure you want to become an AASECT certified sexuality educator, counselor, or therapist?

Are you already providing sexuality education, counseling, or therapy, but…

Any chance of expanding this to the cyber world? I’d love to participate long-distance.

-Sallie the Sexual Psychic www.TheSexualPsychic.com

lordbyronsbloomers: Women’s History Month: March 3, Warsan...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:47:42 -0700

lordbyronsbloomers:

Women’s History Month: March 3, Warsan Shire

Warsan Shire is a London-based, Kenyan-born, Somali writer whose powerful poetry has left me blown away each time I read it. In her book of poetry “Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth” Shire explores the relationship of women’s bodies to war and displacement.

Some of my favorite poems by Shire are “I’m Not Sad” and “For Women Who Are Difficult to Love.”

Check out this interview if you’d like to learn more. If you’re a writer or poet or someone who just enjoys being knocked off your feet by words, read all the poetry!

“If our secrets are secrets because we are told to be ashamed, then we must share them.”

Resources for Male Survivors

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:46:11 -0700

redqueenxlt:

letstalkaboutrape:

I posted last week asking people if they knew of some good resources for male victims of sexual assault. Here is the list people came up with:

www.malesurvivor.org

www.violenceunsilenced.com

www.rainn.org

www.pandys.org

www.1in6.org

www.soulspeakout.org

http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/

Thanks everyone!

reblog for signal boost

The CSPH: Word of the Day: Aftercare

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:45:46 -0700

The CSPH: Word of the Day: Aftercare:

thecsph:

Though it can take many forms, aftercare is most commonly the process of attending to a partner after a BDSM scene or activity. Participating in scenes involving power exchange, discipline, bondage, or consensual nonconsent (among many other behaviors and dynamics) can bring up feelings that…

22 year-old and 4 sexual partners. - Love and Dating

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 00:46:37 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

Initially, I thought it wasn’t a shame. Most 22 year-olds … Nonetheless, another friend of mine said having had 4 different sexual partners is whore-ish and immoral. My friend felt …. It’s that really dumb double standard.

See on wrongplanet.net

It's not 'slut-shaming', it's woman hating | Feminist Current

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 00:45:58 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

2) The solution to the sexual double standard that shames women for having casual sex, being promiscuous, enjoying sex, having female bodies, leaving the house, whatever, is not, as a very smart lady on Twitter put it recently, …

See on feministcurrent.com

Eminem's Daughter Can't Call Taylor Swift a 'Whore' No Matter How Annoying ... - The Stir

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 00:45:40 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

The StirEminem’s Daughter Can’t Call Taylor Swift a ‘Whore’ No Matter How Annoying …The StirThere are too many men out there who are more than willing to whip out that most degrading of insults — the last thing we need is slut-shaming from our…

See on thestir.cafemom.com

Women Avoid Casual Sex For Fear Of Being Judged, Says Study - TheGloss

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 00:45:10 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

TheGlossWomen Avoid Casual Sex For Fear Of Being Judged, Says StudyTheGlossHave you ever been in an argument on the Internet in which the term “slut shaming” comes up, and some asshole is like, “that’s not a real thing, stop using that stupid phrase!

See on thegloss.com

The Mother of All Responsibilities: Blaming mothers for the actions of children. by Maggie May

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 19:54:44 -0700

“For Nancy Lanza, even being shot in the face repeatedly cannot atone for her sins, as we see them: she is responsible, in part, for this. 26 victims, not 27. Nancy Lanza, who we know not at all but can take a small amount of facts and line them up and decide that she could have prevented this. “She shouldn’t have let a mentally ill kid around guns”- even though we’ve seen headline after headline that autism is not a mental illness, does not make children inclined to be violent, and is the only diagnosis that we know of for her son. I haven’t read anyone questioning the father. After divorcing, it is the mother who is responsible, according to our national opinion. What we don’t know about Mrs. Lanza or her son or her actions around her son is a list much longer than what we do know. What we don’t know is how to grieve for a mother of an atypical son who had guns in her home and did not predict that there was a chance her son would take a gun and shoot people. “

from the blog Flux Capacitor at http://poemsandnovels.blogspot.com/

And now for another ignorant ass's sexist take on the news

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:22:47 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

#Slut #whore #Funny #girls #women #Truth

ridenour64’s photo on Instagram (#Slut #whore #Funny #girls #women #Truth http://t.co/tLC7l0pw...)…

See on instagram.com

Want to improve Wikipedia's slut-shaming entry?

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:18:18 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

Slut-shaming is defined as the act of making someone, usually a woman, feel guilty or inferior, for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that violate traditional gender expectations. These include, depending on culture, having a large number of sex partners, having sexual relations outside marriage, having casual sexual relations, or acting or dressing in a way that is deemed excessively sexual. This is often done by name calling (often using the word “slut” itself) as well as covert shaming. Although the exact origin of the term is unclear, it has gained popularity in recent years, especially as a result of SlutWalk,^[1] which started in Toronto in response to an incident where a Toronto Police officer told a group of students that they could avoid sexual assault by not dressing like “sluts”.^[2]

The term “slut” is often applied to women who have sex with multiple partners, are sexually active at an early age, or those who may be perceived to deviate in any way from the sexual norm. The term is said to be often used by women and men to defame those that they dislike.^[3]

From Sallie: It needs work. If you do, let me know!

See on en.wikipedia.org

"Self Respect": The New Way Women Are Slut-Shaming

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:10:52 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

How can we condemn women for enjoying sex without looking sexist? I got it—let’s demand that women “respect themselves”.

See on lexcali.tumblr.com

Four Ways To Support Your Friend Who’s Being Slut-Shamed | Adios Barbie

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:07:48 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

From AdiosBarbie.com, “The body imag site for every body.”

See on adiosbarbie.com

Should we empathize with slut-shamers?

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:05:59 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

See on naturalgame.com

I Can't Handle the Petraeus Affair Slut-Shaming Anymore; Why Does the Other Woman Always Have to Be a Whore?

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 18:48:27 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

What’s next — a scarlet A on the women involved?

See on xojane.com

American Teens Are Trafficked Too

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:34:08 -0700

See on Scoop.it - slut-shaming

[from Sallie: How the notion of a “bad girl” promotes child rape.]

Saada Saar explains why terms like “child prostitute” make us hold the wrong people accountable.

[see also video “Child Prostitute.”]

See on makers.com

thecsph: holisticsexualhealth: becauseiamawoman: Originally...

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 22:59:44 -0700

thecsph:

holisticsexualhealth:

becauseiamawoman:

Originally posted by victimblaming (in new post to add on more images).

These are posters from the Backbone Zone, here is a little from their website about the program:

For years, prevention has been primarily about victims, and the ways they can and should change their behavior to avoid sexual violence, sexual harassment, and gender-based bullying. More recently, this approach has been seen as putting the responsibility for sexual violence on survivors. Instead, across the country, there is a movement toward ‘primary prevention’- a kind of prevention that seeks to end sexual violence before it begins, and to put the responsibility of doing so on everyone.

The Backbone Zone project is an innovative approach to bystander intervention, and is about helping people recognize the actions that everyone can take to change the world they live in. Recognizing sexist and homophobic language, realizing that it has an impact, encouraging students to choose different words, and giving them the skills to be active bystanders when they hear sexist and homophobic language: these are steps that each one of us can take to end gender-stereotypes, and to help end sexual violence. Everybody has a backbone. The Backbone Zone project is a campaign that speaks directly to students, helping them to find - and use - their backbones.

The “this is a hoe” one, is amazing and important and utterly necessary.

People have this assumption that someone coveting a thing (oh wait, no- a human), that you perceive as belonging to you, gives you to license treat them as less than a human being.

When I originally posted a similar sentiment here I got scores of emails from girls stating for the most part “Well no no no, you missed the point of it entirely. He’s talking about how if a girl likes or hooks up with your boyfriend, then she’s a slut. So the video is okay and you’re wrong.”

Yes, because two consensual adults violating your trust, or someone having the audacity to like something you like automatically means it’s okay to degrade them.

No.

We all need to do our part to not perpetuate a negative environment and be more responsive less reactive. Uncomfortable with someone’s interest in your partner? Tell your partner, be true to yourself, your situation and your own feelings or insecurity.

If you are feeling insecure because your partner might share an interest in them, approach it. If you feel the person interested in your partner is crossing a boundary- Tell them in a manner that they will receive and can empathize with. That means honestly, openly, without name calling, passive aggression and yes, sometimes, without feeling.

Realize that in truth, the person that you are with is an attractive individual who chooses to associate with you, and if that’s too much for you to handle (the fact that others find them attractive), it’s time to take a hard look at where you are speaking from. It’s time to work on self, truth and where your own insecurities lie.

Someone likes your partner and no one is crossing any boundaries on either end? Remember all the reasons why your partner is an attractive, desirable human being and that yes, you too are equally desirable and attractive.

If it were you who were the subject of interest to someone (and I’m sure you are, will be or have been) would you appreciate your partner implying you have some sort of control over their interest? Or furthermore, that someone elses interest in you makes them sub-human?

Think about the implications.

Very relevant and important ads!

The CSPH: Word Of The Day: andropause

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 22:58:14 -0700

The CSPH: Word Of The Day: andropause:

thecsph:

Our bodies change as we age, and the production of certain hormones naturally begins to slow. In uterus and ovary-owners, one of the most notable changes is known as menopause, referring to the gradual cessation of ovary function and fertility. But just because menopause is most commonly…